


A Moment To Forget Me

by cosima_geekmonkey_niehaus



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-06
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-03-29 05:56:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3884965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosima_geekmonkey_niehaus/pseuds/cosima_geekmonkey_niehaus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Delphine has a chance encounter with a beautiful stranger, leaving her feeling more alive than ever before. But their meeting wasn’t merely a coincidence, for they both have a history neither of them remembers. Cophine AU with elements from canon.</p><p>“How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resign’d.” - Alexander Pope</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The alarm clock woke Delphine with a start, and she scrambled across her bed as quickly as she could to stop it. Once it was off, she sat staring out the window, blinking at the gray sky and the blinding morning sun. She looked over at her phone, the date and time flashing at her: Tuesday, February 14, 7:02am, Valentine's Day. Delphine groaned as she got out of bed in a daze and got ready for work.

Delphine made her way to the subway platform, stifling a yawn as she joined the crowd waiting for the train. Her eyes were glazed over, already bored with her predictable life, another Valentine's Day alone save for her mundane job. She watched a train stop on the opposite platform, watched it pull away and leave behind dozens of people moving in the same glazed-over manner, on their way to jobs they probably hated before joining the throngs of unhappy couples off to predictable romantic dinners.

She felt the rumble under her feet as the subway approached, and she let out a sigh as she hitched her bag over her shoulder and moved into the crowd. The doors opened with a ding and everyone stepped aside to let the old crowd out before the new crowd pushed in.

As Delphine was preparing to board, she felt the rush of another train approaching, and turned to see the Coney Island-bound train stop; the train was mostly empty, with few people heading to the beach in the middle of February. The train stood there, doors opening, as if it were beckoning her toward it.

The crowd jostled Delphine as she remained stuck on the platform, something preventing her from boarding her regular train, as if she had just remembered an important appointment all the way in Brooklyn.

She heard the beep signifying the doors closing, and she made a split-second decision, dashing across the platform and jumping in between the closing doors, letting out a sigh of relief as she pulled out of the platform, leaving the train to the office behind. She took her seat, adjusting her hair, knowing that she had made the right choice, even though she wasn't sure exactly what that choice was.

Forty minutes later, the train pulled into its final stop, and Delphine stepped onto the platform, bracing herself against the cold.

She walked, head down into the wind, along the street until she reached the boardwalk. It was deserted, except for the occasional lonely worker inside their stands, looking out wistfully at the ocean. Delphine looked out at the water, too, searching for her reason for coming here, and her eyes landed on a lone figure out at the water's edge. It took her a moment to realize it was a person - a woman - walking along the surf. She had a red coat on, pulled tight across her chest against the chill, but her shoes were off and she was kicking up sand into the waves.

Delphine laughed to herself, finding the whole sight a little absurd. Why was this woman here at the beach, on a Tuesday morning in February, kicking around out in the waves? She lingered for a moment, watching the woman bend down to pick up a shell, examining it before placing it in her pocket, and then she turned and walked down the boardwalk.

She wished she could be like that, out frolicking in the waves in mid-winter, foraging for shells, free of the oppression of mundanity even when she was playing hookey from work. Delphine needed that in her life - the freedom, the joy, the curiosity - but she remained stuck in this rut, the past few years all blended together in haze of boring regularity. She let out a heavy sigh, trying to push the woman from her mind as she continued on her way.

The morning passed in a similar manner, Delphine slowly making her way down the boardwalk, stopping to take in the few sights there were to see, until she glanced down at her watch and noticed it was already after noon. Many of the shops were closed since it was off-season, so Delphine left the boardwalk and walked across the street into a small diner. She took a seat in the back as the tiny Russian lady who appeared to be the owner came over, and ordered a bowl of soup to help get the feeling back in her limbs.

Delphine surveyed the walls of the diner - the pictures of the owners with various celebrities, and team photos of little leaguers – until she heard the clang of the door open and looked up to see the woman from the beach. She crashed into a booth on the opposite wall and immediately started up a conversation with the owner about the cold front coming in from the north and it's affects on the currents.

Delphine was hypnotized by the way the woman's hands seemed to dance around her head of their own accord as she went on and on, the red from her coat reflecting off her glasses and seeming to light up her eyes. She watched as the woman's hair, done up in intricate dreadlocks, flopped around behind her. There was something about her that was so familiar, although Delphine was certain she had never seen her before.

She continued to stare after their conversation ceased and the woman poured an unhealthy amount of sugar into the coffee the owner had brought her. Delphine laughed again to herself – she couldn't remember laughing for days (or was it months), and yet here this woman had succeeded twice already today. It felt like a breath of fresh air.

The owner arrived with her soup, and Delphine went to work on attempting to eat it, her mind threatening to wonder off back to the office, but she refused to give in; she had made it this far, there was no point in ruining her day off just yet. As the soup cooled, Delphine looked back over to the woman, who was busying herself with piling a mountain of ketchup onto her french fries. Delphine couldn't help but notice the way that her brow furrowed as she attempted to squeeze out the last remnants from the bottle, and the way her many bracelets jangled as she worked.

Suddenly the woman looked over, her eyes locking dead with Delphine's, and she felt the heat rise in her cheeks. She panicked for a moment, not knowing how she should play this off, but the woman simply smiled – a full, toothy smile, her tongue poking out ever so slightly – and Delphine lost feeling in every cell of her body.

After a second that felt like a year, Delphine returned the smile with a sheepish grin, and turned to her bag in an attempt to act natural. She pulled out her notebook, which she always carried with her to pass the time with writings or observations or doodles, and she turned to a blank page. Her fingers brushed over the center of the notebook – the remainder of pages torn from the book, yet she had no memory of ever doing so. In fact, she made it a point to never get rid of anything in her notebooks, no matter how bad the writing or embarrassing the drawings; they were personal, and if she couldn't be honest with herself, how could she be open with anyone else.

She decided to ignore the torn pages with a shrug, and took out a pen from her bag and wrote out the words: moonlight, starlight, dancing through the currents of my heart. Once again Delphine was hit by the feeling of déjà vu, almost as if she had written these words before, but she flipped through the notebook and could find no trace of them.

Delphine remained in the diner well after her soup was gone, well after the woman had left (but not before she flashed another one of her charming smiles), pages of her notebook now filled with the woman's hands, and her hair, and her eyes.

At long last, Delphine pulled out a twenty from her pocket, leaving it on the table and hoping the extra would make up for the hours she had sat there with nothing except her soup. She made her way slowly back to the subway station, figuring she might as well get home early, attempt to make up for some of the work she had skipped that day.

She swiped her Metrocard at the turnstile and stepped onto the platform, her eyes once again falling onto the woman in the red coat. She was seated on a bench, her legs tucked up underneath her, her nose buried in a book, seemingly unaware that she was no longer alone. Delphine kept her distance, glancing over every now and then to take in the wing of her eyeliner, or the glint of the sun off her nose ring, or the cute little way she scratched her head as she read. The woman remained like that, buried in her book, until the train screeched to a halt at the station.

Delphine quickly boarded and took a seat, hoping the woman wouldn't notice her, yet also hoping that she would. She kept her eyes out the window, taking in the distant waves along the shore and the ghostly boardwalk below them. The doors dinged closed again, and Delphine wasn't even sure if the woman had gotten up from the bench, but she didn't dare look. She took her notebook out of her bag again and flipped to an empty page, determined to use the ride home to make a to-do list for work, but she just stared at the blankness, her mind swirling with the red of her coat and the brown of her eyes. She didn't even notice she was being watched until she looked up and found herself face to face with the woman.

“Hey,” she said, her eyes full of warmth and intrigue, her smile stretching across her whole face. “I'm Cosima.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There's an opposite to déjà vu. They call it jamais vu. It's when you meet the same people or visit places, again and again, but each time is the first. Everybody is always a stranger. Nothing is ever familiar.”   
> ― Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

“Delphine,” Delphine said, slightly taken aback, but she accepted Cosima's outstretched hand anyway. “Enchantée.”

“Oh! French,” Cosima said, giggling at Delphine's accent. “Enchantée.”

Delphine blushed slightly. “Yes I was born in France, just outside of Paris. But I live here now, in Manhattan.”

“Where about?” Cosima asked, one hand on the pole in between them as she leaned in closer to Delphine.

“Upper West Side, near 86th and Columbus.”

“That's right by me!” Cosima squealed with delight, clapping her hands together. “I live on 90th and Broadway.” Delphine nodded her head, for fear of revealing just how excited this news made her, and looked back down at her notebook. After a moment of awkward silence, Cosima spoke up again, “you look familiar, have we met before?”

Delphine looked back up, remembering that familiar feeling she had had in the diner earlier, still unable to place it. “I don't believe so.”

“Do you ever go to the Museum of Natural History?” Cosima asked, narrowing her eyes.

“Sometimes. When I need to clear my head I like to go there and walk through the exhibits.”

“That's it!” Cosima shouted, squeezing Delphine's shoulder for a moment, causing Delphine's stomach to nearly drop out of her body. “I must've seen you before. I work at the museum. I've been a tour guide there for like, almost five years.”

Delphine nodded, once again failing to continue the conversation, her mind too preoccupied with trying to remember Cosima. But she was met with nothing, and she could feel Cosima watching her expectantly, the color slowly returning to Delphine's cheeks as she came up empty.

“Do you like nautilus shells?” Cosima asked, leaning even closer, her eyes searching Delphine as if this were a test.

“Excuse me?” Delphine asked, not quite sure of what Cosima was talking about.

“Nautilus shells,” Cosima repeated, as she pulled the shell out of her coat pocket. “They belong to these mollusks that are some of the evolutionarily oldest creatures on the planet. The shells are pretty hard to find unbroken like this. Aren't they beautiful?”

“They are,” Delphine said, taking the shell in her hand and running her finger over the smooth surface. She had never seen anything so beautiful before, and she was overcome with the feeling that if she ever let go of the shell, the world would come crashing down around her. “I don't think I've ever seen one of these before.”

“That's crazy,” Cosima said, a smile dancing on her lips as she watching Delphine examine the shell. “There's a whole exhibit on the chambered nautilus at the museum.”

“I suppose I never noticed it before,” Delphine said, and she took the shell in one last time before handing it back to Cosima.

“No you can keep it,” Cosima said, pushing Delphine's hand away. “A token to remember me by.” Cosima flashed her smile, and pushed up her sleeve. “Besides, I already have one just like that.”

Delphine looked down to see a shell exactly like the one in her hand tattooed on Cosima's wrist. The size, the shape, even the hints of blue reflecting off the shell in her hand were mirrored on Cosima's arm. “A perfect match,” Delphine whispered, and she could swear she saw a hint of red in Cosima's cheeks.

The subway ride seemed to last only moments, the ease of their small talk allowing the minutes to slip by in giant leaps. They exited the train together, and paused at the top of the stairs, Delphine shading the afternoon light with one hand as she looked at Cosima, wondering what came next.

“Do you want to like, come over to my place?” Cosima asked, bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet. “I have some wine, and maybe cheese, so we could drink and-”

“Yes,” Delphine said before Cosima could finish, unable to suppress her excitement this time. “I'd love to.”

Cosima smiled her big smile again, and Delphine felt as if she might need to reach out and brace herself against the stair railing. She managed to simply return the smile and follow Cosima up the street. Delphine wasn’t sure why she had agreed with such gusto; perhaps it was the strange familiarity she still couldn’t shake, or perhaps it was the way Cosima’s eyes seemed to light up every time they locked with hers, but Delphine knew she couldn’t let the day end so quickly.

They didn't speak again until they were inside of the apartment, as Cosima haphazardly kicked off her shoes and asked, “red or white?”

“Whichever,” Delphine said, pushing Cosima's shoes neatly against the wall before carefully removing her coat and hanging it up on an unused coatrack.

“Red it is!” Cosima shouted from the kitchen, accompanied by some light banging and a muffled swear.

“Do you need any help, Cosima?” Delphine asked, savoring the way Cosima’s name felt in her mouth.

“No, no I totally got this,” Cosima said, her head buried inside a cabinet. “Just make yourself comfortable on the couch, I’ll be out in a second.”

Delphine walked into the living room, running her hand along a bookshelf overflowing with books and various knick-knacks, stacks of birthday cards from who knows how many years past, candles of various use, and more than one troll figurine, which Delphine couldn't help but laugh at. She eyed the couch, covered in a number of comfy-looking blankets, but before she could sit, she was distracted by a glass jar on the coffee table, filled almost to the lid with nautilus shells of all shapes and sizes.

“You really do love these,” Delphine said as Cosima entered the room, two wine glasses in her hands.

“They're the perfect shell,” Cosima whispered as she handed Delphine a glass, her fingers lingering so they brushed up against hers, causing every hair on Delphine's body to stand up. “The proportions of the spiral mathematically align with the golden ratio.”

“Seducing me with wine and mathematics,” Delphine said into her glass, too nervous to look up.

“Is it working?” Cosima asked, her breath hot against Delphine's cheek as she moved even closer.

Delphine took a sip of wine, forcing herself to look at Cosima, doing her best not to choke as she got lost in Cosima's eyes. “We'll just have to see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all your comments and kudos!!! They are really motivating me to make this the best I can :D There's plenty more to come, so thanks for reading!!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Identification is not the same as knowing someone through and through.”   
> ― Jodi Picoult, Handle with Care

A bottle of wine later, the two sat on the couch, Cosima curled up, her head on Delphine's shoulder.

“Is this completely weird?” Cosima whispered into Delphine’s neck, her voice low yet crisp despite the alcohol.

“What do you mean?” Delphine mumbled back.

Cosima lifted her head up and searched Delphine’s face. “I mean, is it completely weird that I just met you on the subway a few hours ago, and you’re a stranger that I know basically nothing about, but I just feel totally comfortable with you, like I can trust you with my soul?” Cosima traced her fingers across Delphine’s palm, unable to look her in the eye after her admission.

“I agree that our circumstance may be a bit unique,” Delphine said, butterflies dancing slightly in the pit of her stomach due to Cosima’s boldness, “but I think it would be wrong to call it weird.”

“How diplomatic of you,” Cosima said, finally looking back up at Delphine, a playful glint in her eye before she snuggled back up against her.

Delphine put her arm around Cosima, pulling her a little closer, downing the last of her wine. She was thrown by her own boldness; normally she kept her guard up with strangers, but there was something about Cosima that made her want to tear all her walls down, despite only having spent a few hours with her. It was as if Cosima knew Delphine better than she knew herself, and this thought, instead of being terrifying, was the most comforting thing Delphine had ever experienced.

“I want to take you to the pond in Central Park,” Cosima said, her voice suddenly bright with excitement. “You know the one with the row boats and the bridge.” Delphine nodded slowly, her head heavy. “I want to take you there at night, so we can sit on the rocks and put our feet in the water, and look up at the sky, trying to see the stars through the city lights.”

“I'd love that,” Delphine said, a hint of a slur in her voice. She closed her eyes, trying to remember the pond, knowing that she had been in Central Park countless times; perhaps it was the wine, or the spell Cosima seemed to have cast over her, because she could not picture it.

“Let's go now,” Cosima said, snapping Delphine out of her reverie.

“Now?” Delphine asked, her eye catching the late hour on the clock on the wall, and the voice in her head reminding her that she had work tomorrow. Her rational brain was fighting to pull her out of this dream, but Cosima would have none of that.

“Yes, it's the perfect time!” Cosima shouted joyfully, jumping up and clearing away the wine glasses. “It's a clear night and the park will be nearly empty,” and before Delphine could protest, Cosima had pulled her up off the couch and was leading her out the door.

The pair walked briskly through the city toward the park, Cosima's arm linked around Delphine's, the cold night air ripping at their throats. As they entered the park, the skyscrapers almost disappearing behind the trees as they walked down the path, Cosima began to speed up, causing Delphine to have to nearly run to keep up despite her longer legs. The pond emerged through the darkness, the lights from the taller buildings reflected in the glassy water, and Cosima sprinted the last few yards up to the edge of the pond and pulled her shoes off, planting herself on a large rock and placing her feet in the water.

“Come on,” she shouted over to Delphine, who was now standing a few feet behind her, hesitant. “The water is warmer than you think.”

Delphine continued to stand there despite Cosima's assurance. Something was holding her back – fear of doing something new, exciting, out of the ordinary, perhaps a fear of everything Cosima was and everything she was making Delphine feel, and Delphine willed every inch of herself to stop being afraid and sit next to Cosima. She wanted so desperately to silence the fear and the hesitations, and for once give herself over completely to the moment.

“I'll hold your hand so you don't fall in,” Cosima said, extending her hand out, and with that Delphine was able to bend down and take off her shoes, putting her hand in Cosima's as she sat down, the fear slipping out of her body, dissolving into the warmer than expected pond water, and washing away, leaving Delphine free.

Cosima looked up at the sky, her feet kicking lightly in the water. “I think I see a star,” she said, pointing at a bright light in the sky.

“I'm fairly certain that's just a plane,” Delphine said, her hair falling forward as she giggled.

Cosima looked over and giggled too, then reached over and brushed the hair off of Delphine's face and tucking it behind her ear, sending shivers down Delphine’s spine. “Whatever. A girl can hope.”

They sat like that, sending out ripples in the pond in unison as they contemplated the sky, Delphine certain that she had never felt more at peace, like she was exactly where she belonged. There was something frightening about Cosima, yes, but there was also something warm and comforting, like she was returning home after a great journey.

“Be mine, Valentine,” Delphine whispered, the words escaping her before she could think to hold them back.

“I’m going to marry you,” Cosima whispered back, and she leaned her head on Delphine’s shoulder, wrapping her arms around Delphine’s. 

Delphine looked down at Cosima, allowing herself to be consumed by the moment, unaware of anything except the woman beside her because she was the only thing that seemed to matter, and she kissed her softly on the forehead, a gesture so new and exciting yet so familiar and reassuring. Delphine had never felt this before, but she was certain she was in love.

Hours later they walked back through the park, hand in hand, the morning light peeking through the buildings as the coffee carts made their way onto the streets. Delphine couldn’t hold back the smile on her face, as if she needed every person she passed on the street to know just how happy she had become.

“Can we go back to your place?” Cosima asked, looking up at Delphine, her eyelids heavy with exhaustion. “I need some sleep.”

“Sure,” Delphine said, running her hand along Cosima’s cheek, watching her skin turn red from her touch.

“Let me just run to my apartment for my toothbrush,” Cosima said, as they were on her block anyway.

Delphine leaned up against the side of the building as Cosima ran upstairs, taking out a cigarette from her pocket and lighting it. She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes, images from the night dancing before her - Cosima’s feet in the water, Cosima’s hand pointing up at the sky.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Delphine heard someone say, and she opened her eyes. A woman stood before her, short with blonde hair, her hands folded in front of her, an angry look in her eyes.

“Excuse me?” Delphine asked, puzzled. She had never seen this woman before in her life.

“You aren’t supposed to be here,” the woman said, and she let out an annoyed sigh before turning into the nearby deli, leaving Delphine alone and confused.

\--

Delphine sat curled up on the floor of her apartment, a crumpled piece of paper in her hand, the tears streaming fast and hard down her face. How could she do this to her? How could everything they had together mean so little that she would just throw it away on a whim? This wasn’t how they were supposed to be.

Delphine threw the paper across the room, and leaned her head back against the wall, a strained sob escaping her. This wasn’t their story. This couldn’t be real. There must be some mistake. Why did Cosima do this?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly." - Langston Hughes

Delphine walked down the street as if she were in a trance, people pushing past her as she slowly made her way to her apartment. This was it, this was the end. She was too numb to the pain to consider backing out.

She fumbled with her keys at the door to her apartment building, not paying enough attention to choose the right one and get it in the keyhole. After a few minutes of struggling, she felt a hand on her shoulder.

“I've got this, Sweetie.” It was Mrs. Kaufman, the landlady, and she patted Delphine a few times on the shoulder before opening the door herself. Delphine managed an almost smile as a thank you.

“Valentine's Day tomorrow,” Mrs. Kaufman said as she shuffled over to the hall closet to deposit a bag of cleaning supplies. Delphine preoccupied herself with opening her mailbox. “Always a bit sad these days, you know, now that Mr. Kaufman is gone.” Delphine tried to look sympathetic at the mention of her dead husband, but her mouth contorted into a bit of a grimace so she quickly stopped trying.

“At least you have Cosima,” Mrs. Kaufman said, adjusting the cupid hanging on the wall as an attempt at brightening up the black walls of the hallway. “She is so lovely, that girl, you really got lucky there.”

Delphine nodded curtly as the bile rose up in her throat. She watched Mrs. Kaufman collect her own mail out of the box, her eyes catching the large orange envelope that sealed her fate, and she disappeared up the stairs before the old lady could say another word.

Once inside the apartment, Delphine freed herself of her coat and her mail, and slumped onto the couch. She looked around at her living room, once a warm and comfortable place filled with pictures of smiling faces and treasures collected on numerous adventures, now stripped bare of all its life, the love left to be forgotten in a dusty storage bin in the back of an office. She picked up the remote and held it in her hand, but she lacked any motivation to turn the TV on. After an hour or so she got up and went into the bathroom.

On the sink sat the bottle of pills and a set of directions. Take with food and plenty of water. Delphine let out a sigh; she wasn't in the mood to eat. She just wanted this over with.

A lukewarm frozen dinner and two glasses of water later, Delphine sat on the edge of her bed, pajamas on, two pills in her hand. It'll all be over soon, she thought, staring at the pills through deadened eyes. I won't even know I was ever in pain in the morning. That was enough for Delphine, and she tipped her head back, swallowing both pills at once.

Outside on the street, a van was parked in front of the apartment building, two people in the front seat, eyes on the clock.

“It's after eight. I think it's safe,” Scott said, leaning against the van window to look up at the building. “She's probably asleep by now.”

“Are you sure?” Shay asked, looking up at the building, too. “She said she sometimes has trouble falling asleep. I don't want to mess this one up.”

“If she took the pills, she will be fine. Out like a light.” Scott moved into the back of the van, ignoring the unsure look on Shay's face.

The pair carried boxes of equipment up the stairs, piling them up in front of the door. When the van was empty, they slowly and quietly let themselves into the apartment. Scott tiptoed into the bedroom, and opened the door. Delphine was sound asleep on the bed.

“All clear,” Scott said over his shoulder, and Shay gave a thumbs up before she started moving the boxes into the bedroom.

Twenty minutes later, a complicated helmet hooked up to multiple laptops was strapped to Delphine's head, the room filled with a low hum of the machines as Scott sat behind one of the screens, typing away furiously.

“Alright, everything looks in order,” he said, his furrowed brow relaxing as he looked up. “All set on your end?”

“Just one last check,” Shay said, checking for the third time that all the wires on the helmet were secure.

“You seem more invested than usual,” Scott said, his eyes narrowing slightly as he watched Shay finish up.

“I just want everything to be perfect, that's all,” Shay said, shrugging it off as she finally walked away from the bed and sat next to Scott.

“All engines firing,” Scott said, entering the final commands into the computer. “And...we're live.”

Delphine opened her eyes, blinking in the harsh afternoon light. She looked around, slightly confused; she was standing in front of a large medical building, the light reflecting down off the numerous windows, the white pillars lining the doors giving off a simultaneously welcoming and ominous feeling. She looked to her right and let out a scream, coming face to face with herself. There Delphine was, hair pulled back in a ponytail and dark circles under her eyes, tear stains still visible on her cheeks, and two giant trash bags in her hands. Delphine let out a gasp as she watched herself take a deep sigh and climb the steps into the building. As she entered the door, Delphine decided it was best to keep herself in sight, and she sprinted to catch up, following herself into the pristine lobby.

At the elevator, Delphine attempted to get her doppelganger's attention, waving her hands in front of her eyes, but to no avail. She tried shouting, but the other Delphine walked right past her into the open elevator, as if nothing had happened. Delphine even tried to touch her other self on the shoulder, but she let out a yelp as her hand went right through, as if she were a ghost.

They rode the elevator up to the fifth floor, and when the doors opened Delphine followed herself down the hall, shivering slightly in the sterilized cold of the overly sanitized tile and the blindingly white walls, still trying to figure out what was happening. It wasn't until they entered a door at the end of the hall that Delphine let out a gasp.

“I've been here before,” she said, although no one in the room seemed to hear her.

They were in a waiting room, chairs lining the walls filled with people in various states of distress, out of date magazines lay forgotten on tables, the woman behind the desk tapping her pen in boredom as she looked at her phone.

“Wait, I know you,” Delphine said, as her other self plopped into a seat next to a woman silently crying while looking at a photo album. “I was in here yesterday.”

The woman at the desk didn't look up; Delphine already suspected she couldn't be heard. She let out an exasperated sigh, and turned to examine her other self. The clothes, the trash bags, the tear stains – Delphine took it all in, slowly putting the pieces together, until she jumped at the sound of someone right behind her.

“Miss Cormier, come on in.” Delphine turned to see an older man, mostly bald, in a white medical jacket, a thick file in his hand and a smile on his face.

“Dr. Leekie,” Delphine whispered as she watched herself get up off the chair and follow Dr. Leekie through the door.

“Thank you for being on time. We have quite the full schedule this time of year. Valentine's Day tends to be a rough time,” Dr. Leekie said as he led both Delphines down the hall.

“I'm just thankful you were able to fit me in on such short notice,” the other Delphine said, her voice wavering slightly. “It's a bit of an emergency.”

“Not a problem my dear,” Dr. Leekie said, and he opened the door to a small exam room.

“Everything is in order,” a woman in a sleek pencil skirt said as she tapped something out on the computer before turning toward them. Her cold eyes scanned the Delphine with the trash bags for a moment before she pursed her lips and left the room. Dr. Leekie simply smiled and motioned for Delphine to sit down.

“Forgive my assistant,” Dr. Leekie said as the door closed and Dr. Leekie shuffled his papers. “She hates when I disrupt the schedule to accommodate last minute clients, but she isn’t one to sympathize with the urgency of your situation. The other Delphine gave a weak smile in response, as she laid down her trash bags.

“I know what's going on here,” Delphine said as she watched herself take a seat on the chair as Dr. Leekie began to explain the procedure. “I'm dreaming aren't I. You're at my house right now, and I'm asleep, and you have me hooked up to one of your machines.”

Delphine watched as Dr. Leekie placed a helmet full of wires on the other Delphine's head, opening a window on his computer that showed an image of Delphine's brain.

“Now I need you to take me through your relationship step-by-step, from the beginning,” Delphine whispered under her breath as she watched her other self brush away a tear.

“Now I need you to take me through your relationship step-by-step, from the beginning,” Dr. Leekie said, and the other Delphine took a huge breath and began the story.

“Merde,” Delphine said running her hand through her hair as she watched herself describe that warm summer's day two years earlier. “It's really happening,” and she could do nothing but watch as Delphine talked, Dr. Leekie occasionally pulling items out of the trashbags, asking her to recall specific memories as he mapped out various regions of her brain.

Suddenly, the walls of the room began to crumble around them, although Dr. Leekie and the Delphine in the chair seemed not to notice. The ceiling seemed to melt away, the wall slowly evaporating before her eyes, but Dr. Leekie continued to question the other Delphine about her memories, as if they couldn’t hear the sounds stones falling and glass shattering as the building fell away. Delphine ran to the wall as the other two continued the brain scan, putting her hand flat against the plaster. She watched as the wall peeled away inch by inch until finally her hand was up against nothing but a black void.

“It's gone,” she said, turning back to see only her other self in the brain scanner surrounded by nothing, everything else, including Dr. Leekie, having melted away.

“It's a go,” Scott said, as he watched a spot on the scan of Delphine's brain light up, and then fade away. “Looks like it's going to be smooth sailing from here on out.”

“Awesome,” Shay said, smiling as they watched the scanner light up a different area of the brain. “Want a beer?” Scott nodded and Shay dug into a cooler at their feet, producing two bottles. “Nothing like a nice cold one to take the edge off while we reprogram someone's brain.”

Scott chuckled as Delphine shifted slightly in her sleep. “Totally.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness." - Desmond Tutu

The black void surrounding Delphine disappeared and was replaced by the glistening tile and high ceiling of the Natural History Museum atrium. Delphine looked up at the T-rex skeleton in the center of the room surrounded by dozens of children, their eyes as big as saucers as their parents attempted to stop them from climbing the display.

“What day is this?” Delphine whispered to herself, knowing this must be another memory but so far unsure of which one it could be. She looked over to the far right, at the little booth set up for tours, and she spotted Cosima. She leaned against the booth, her head in her hand, staring blankly off in no direction in particular.

Delphine began walking toward Cosima, not so much of her own accord, but as if she were on a predetermined track, allowing the memory to take her through the motions of what had happened. She continued to beeline for the booth, and as she came up level with the stand Cosima turned to her and smiled, but the smile was not her usual warm smile full of all of their love; it was forced, and fake, a smile reserved for the most boring parts of her job.

“How can I help you?” Cosima asked, bending down and producing a stack of pamphlets, which she laid out on the counter. “We have a number of tours available. Just let me know what you're interested in and I'll find the perfect match for you.”

Delphine looked at her, confused and hurt. She couldn't understand what was going on. “What do you mean, can I help you?”

“I'm a tour guide,” Cosima said, her brow slightly furrowed as she tapped on the sign on her booth. “I would like to help you find a tour to maximize your museum experience.”

Delphine continued to stare at Cosima, her mind unable to wrap around what was happening. Cosima was acting like she had never seen Delphine before in her life, as if the past two years had been nothing. It had only been a week since they fought, and yet it was like Delphine wasn't even a distant memory to Cosima anymore. Delphine stayed in this bewildered trance until another woman approached the stand.

“Hey baby,” the woman said, and Cosima put up a finger to signify she would be with Delphine in one moment as she leaned in to kiss the woman.

Delphine's jaw dropped as she backed away from the stand, the two women giggling to each other privately. This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be real.

The woman looked over her shoulder just then, her eyes catching briefly with Delphine's, and Delphine let out a gasp. “I know you!” she said, but once again, she couldn't be heard, the memory proceeding on without her as she went off script. “You're the girl from the DYAD Institute. You're part of this whole memory erasure thing.” Delphine walked back up to the booth, but Cosima and the woman remained unaware of her presence.

“I got you a little something,” the woman said, and she reached her hand into her pocket and produced a necklace with a small nautilus shell on the end. “I thought you might like it.”

“Woah, Shay, this is totally perfect,” Cosima said, her eyes lighting up as she put the necklace on. “Nautilus shells are my favorite, how did you know that?”

“Just a lucky guess,” Shay said as she once again looked over her shoulder at the spot where Delphine had been standing.

“Wait a minute!” Delphine shouted. “I bought her that necklace for Christmas.” Delphine swallowed hard, tears blurring her vision as she watched Cosima trace her fingers along Shay's palm, just like she used to do with hers.

Delphine backed away slowly, the realization of what was happening hitting her hard in the gut. Shay was using Cosima's lost memories to win her over, and there was nothing Delphine could do about it. Come morning, Delphine wouldn't even remember.

The museum suddenly disappeared and Delphine found herself standing in the middle of Felix's loft, her arms crossed, anger coursing through her veins.

“It was as if she had never seen me before,” Delphine cried out. “I was a complete stranger to her.”

“Well you have both been through a lot, maybe she was just, you know, trying to keep her space,” Felix said, waving his arm in an attempt to dismiss Cosima's behavior. “You know Cosima, she's always a little spacey.”

“This wasn't spacey, Felix,” Delphine said, running her hands through her hair. “She was with another girl. She looked at me like we had never met and then she kissed someone else.”

There was a moment of silence and then a loud exhale from the couch. “Just tell her Fee,” Sarah mumbled, making sure to avoid looking in Delphine's direction.

“Tell me what?” Delphine asked, the look of betrayal etched deep on her face.

Felix hesitated, then walked into the kitchen, returning with a large orange envelope. He handed it over and Delphine opened it, reading it over in silence.

“This is a joke, right?” Delphine asked, her gaze shifting between Felix and Sarah, searching for any hint of a lie, but neither of them could meet her eye. Delphine rounded on Sarah. “How could you let this happen?”

“You know how she is,” Sarah said, still looking at the floor. “Cos is impulsive and stubborn. When she gets an idea in her head, there's no stopping her. You know there's nothing I could've done, yeah?”

Delphine slammed the envelope down on the table and looked over at Felix. “And you! You let me go a whole week thinking I had a chance at fixing things. What kind of a best friend are you?”

“Delphine!” Felix shouted, but Delphine had already left the loft and slammed the door in his face. 

 

Delphine pounded down the stairs, the tears flowing freely, the pain weighing heavy on every molecule in her body. The moment had hurt so much the first time, but it was even worse reliving it, knowing that she was now following the same irreversible path.

She pushed open the door to leave the building, and instead of finding herself on the street she was once again inside her own apartment. The lights were low, the TV on but muted as an infomercial played, the time on the clock displaying 3:24 am. Delphine knew what night this was, and she took a deep breath, ready for it all to hit hard again.

The next moment, the door crashed open and a very intoxicated Cosima fell into the hallway. She struggled out of her coat before she stumbled into the living room, using the wall to keep her upright. Cosima caught sight of Delphine still awake on the couch and let out an exasperated laugh.

“Oh no, somebody's mad,” Cosima taunted as Delphine continued to stare blankly at the infomercial. “You weren't sure if I'd ever come home.”

Cosima doubled over in obnoxious laughter as Delphine finally looked over at her, a tear rolling down her cheek. “It's late, Cosima, why don't we just go to bed?”

“Boring old Delphine, just wants to go to bed and pretend everything is perfect,” Cosima said, falling backward into the wall and knocking down a picture of the two of them from a trip to France the year before. Cosima ignored it and walked into the kitchen, shouting back, “you're too afraid to live, boring old Delphine. You're even too afraid to ask me if I was with someone else tonight.”

“Cosima, please,” Delphine said, her voice cracking slightly as she attempted to suppress her pain. “Let's just talk in the morning.”

“I didn't cheat on you, if that's what you want to know,” Cosima said as she returned to the living room, spilling some water from the glass in her hand as she stumbled over the broken shards of the frame.

“Here, let me help you,” Delphine said as she got up from the couch and reached out to help steady Cosima.

“Don't touch me!” Cosima suddenly yelled, and she threw the water glass at Delphine and barreled out the door.

“Cosima!” Delphine called, and she grabbed her coat and chased Cosima out the door.

Out on the street Delphine paused for a second, looking wildly around until her eyes landed on the tiny figure across the street, dreads flying as she drunkenly stumbled down the street. Delphine ran to catch up, just as the buildings along the block began to crumble around her.

“I'm erasing you, you know,” Delphine shouted, expecting that Cosima couldn't hear her, but feeling the need to say it anyway. “I'm erasing you like you erased me.”

“I'm sorry about that,” Cosima said, and Delphine was so shocked Cosima had responded that she stopped dead in her tracks.

“You heard that?” Delphine asked as Cosima continued to walk down the street.

“Of course I did,” she shouted over her shoulder. “I'm just part of your subconscious. I hear everything you're saying. And I'm really sorry I erased you.”

“Why did you do it?” Delphine asked, jogging to catch up so the two could walk shoulder to shoulder.

“You know how I am,” Cosima said, waving her hand wildly over her head. “I was angry and upset, and I needed to do something rash.”

“Like removing me from your memory completely?” Delphine once again choked, the words cutting her like a knife in the gut.

Cosima looked at Delphine, the regret evident behind the hint of tears in her eyes. “I didn't realize what it would do to you, how it would feel. I wasn't thinking, I just,” she waved her hand again and dropped it, letting the words hang in the air between them. They stopped walking, the two of them staring at each other in silence, the world around them continuing to fall away. Then, Cosima reached out and took Delphine's hand in hers. “Maybe we can stop it.”

“What do you mean?” Delphine asked, her anger and sadness mixing with hope as Cosima's face lit up with that familiar note of excitement.

“Well they only mapped out the parts of your brain where the memories of me were, right? So we just have to find a way to bury a memory of me somewhere where they can't find it, so when you wake up you can find me and fix everything.”

Delphine hesitated, trying to wrap her mind around the plan. “I don't know about this, Cosima. It sounds complicated. How can we be sure it will work?”

“We can't,” Cosima said, but then she reached out toward Delphine, wrapping a lock of her golden hair around her finger and letting the curl bounce free, “but we have to try, don't we.”

“How do I know this is really what you want?” Delphine asked, afraid of how Cosima would react.

“I want you Delphine, I want all of you forever,” Cosima said, lifting up Delphine’s chin so their eyes met once again. “Trust me.”

Delphine nodded, the fire in Cosima's eyes fueling her confidence, and she said, “We can survive this, mon amour.”

Cosima smiled, her tongue poking out slightly between her teeth, and as the sidewalk beneath them disappeared, Cosima said, “let's go!”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If you aren't in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret." - Jim Carrey

“So how exactly did you get into the business of erasing people's memories?” Shay asked, taking a swig of her second beer as Scott monitored Delphine's progression.

“I started volunteering at the center in college, as part of my neuroscience requirements,” Scott said, clicking around on the computer to verify everything was still in order. “I guess Dr. Leekie thought I showed potential because he offered me a job right after graduation.”

“It's a very noble thing to do,” Shay said, smiling sweetly, causing Scott to blush a little, “helping all these people move on with their lives. I admire it. That's why I took the job here.”

Scott nodded as he blushed further, unsure of what to say after such a compliment. Instead he turned his focus back to the brain scan, triple checking everything to drown out his embarrassment.

Shay walked over to the bed and leaned close to Delphine, watching her eyes move back and forth beneath her eyelids.

“She can't hear us right?” Shay asked, not taking her eyes off of Delphine.

“No, she's in a deep sleep,” Scott said, regaining his composure. “She won't regain consciousness until the medication wears off.”

“I wonder what it's like for her,” Shay said as she sat on the bed next to Delphine's head, still mesmerized by her eye movements.

“It shouldn't be any different than dreaming,” Scott replied. “Only she's dreaming about all her old memories as we erase them.”

“So she relives everything one last time before it disappears forever?”

Scott nodded, searching Shay's face in an attempt to figure out what she was thinking. She was smiling, but there was a hint of sadness in her eyes. After a moment, she let out a sigh and finally looked back at Scott.

“That's sad, but also beautiful,” Shay said as she got up from the bed and walked back over to Scott.

“Yeah,” Scott chuckled, not sure if he quite saw it that way, but he was willing to indulge his partner. “Sad but beautiful.”

–

“Beautiful!” Cosima said, running the scarf between her fingers, smiling as the beads woven into the fabric shimmered in the sunlight. “This will be perfect right?”

“What?” Delphine asked, snapping out of a reverie and focusing her attention on her girlfriend.

“This scarf,” Cosima said as she thrust the scarf at Delphine. “It's perfect to wear with the dress I bought for the museum gala tonight.”

“That's tonight?” Delphine asked, still ignoring the scarf as her expression turned from confusion to worry.

“Yeah, I've only been talking about it for like three weeks now,” Cosima said, anger creeping into her voice as she took the scarf back and turned to pay for it. “Seriously what is with you, you've been weird for two days now.”

Delphine hesitated. She knew what she should've done; she should've come clean right then, should've told Cosima everything, but it was too late to change it now in her memory. Instead, Delphine shook her head and smiled sweetly at Cosima as she said, “it's nothing, just some work stuff, but I'll just forget about it.”

This was good enough for Cosima, and she smiled back before taking the scarf and her change and heading back into the crowd of the street market. Delphine watched as Cosima weaved her way through the crowd, occasionally stopping to examine candles or necklaces or fresh fruit before she joined the flow of people once more. She would periodically glance behind her, ensuring Delphine was still there, flashing a soft, sweet smile, the light peaking in between the stands to create the illusion that Cosima herself was glowing.

“This is the last time you'll ever smile at me like this,” she whispered, trying her best to appreciate this moment for a final time.

“Don't give up before we even try,” Cosima whispered back as she paused to look at some paintings on display. “We will hide my smile somewhere you could never forget it.”

“I'm so sorry for what is about to happen,” Delphine said, her voice cracking with sadness. “I went about everything the wrong way.”

“So did I,” Cosima said. “We are both at fault, so we will both work to try to fix it.”

Delphine nodded, blinking away a tear as Cosima turned away from the paintings, her hand shielding her eyes as she looked around the street.

“I'm starving. Let's stop for lunch,” Cosima said, and before Delphine could respond Cosima was already leading the way to the Thai place on the corner that they frequented. They entered to a cheery welcome from the waitress and took their usual table by the window.

“I'm going to use the restroom,” Delphine said. Cosima nodded, her head already buried in the menu. Delphine walked to the back, pausing at the door to look back, taking Cosima in one last time before everything was ruined.

In the bathroom, Delphine did her best to wash away her anxiety, telling herself that Cosima would understand, and that she was doing what she thought would be best for the both of them. She took a deep breath, put on a smile, and walked back to the table, but the smile disappeared the moment she saw Cosima's face.

“Do you want to tell me what's going on?” Cosima asked, her voice low yet biting.

Delphine's stomach twisted into knots, as she wondered how she managed to get busted. “What do you mean?” she asked, regretfully choosing to play dumb.

“Well I just got an email from Mr. Nealon thanking me for agreeing with you in accepting this new opportunity and assuring me that I will love Minneapolis. Then he said he looks forward to seeing me tonight,” Cosima spat, doing her best to remain calm while in public. “What the hell is going on Delphine?”

“Cosima, I just did what I thought was the right thing,” Delphine pleaded, trying desperately to gain some grasp on the situation which seemed to be spiraling out of control.

“I don't want any excuses,” Cosima said, her face flushed with suppressed rage. “Just give me the truth without any bullshit.”

Delphine met Cosima's eyes and knew there was no way around this. It was time to fess up.

“Well the other day Nealon called me into his office for a performance review,” Delphine explained, her eyes focused on the corner of the table. “He started praising my work over the last quarter, going on about my numbers and my potential. After all of this he mentions a new position that had become available, and how he thinks I would be perfect for this job. It's quite a big promotion, more responsibilities, people working under me, a lot more money. I would be able to take care of us. We could buy a house. You could go back to school like you always talk about. The only thing is we would have to move to Minneapolis.”

Delphine looked up, but Cosima had taken to staring out the window, so she continued on. “The whole deal just sounded so wonderful, and he needed an answer right away before the branch in Minneapolis started the hiring process. So I just accepted.”

Delphine searched Cosima's profile, trying to find any hint of emotion or reaction, but Cosima continued to stare out the window. After a moment, her eyes still firmly looking away, Cosima asked, “why does Nealon think he is seeing me tonight?”

“Nealon invited us and a few other important partners in the company over to his penthouse tonight for a celebration dinner.” Delphine watched as Cosima's jaw clenched and she whispered, “I completely forgot about your gala tonight.”

“Of course you did,” Cosima said as she turned suddenly to meet Delphine's eyes. “Why would you ever think of me or my life or what I want?”

“Cosima I did this for you,” Delphine said, her voice heavy with emotion. “For us. I want us to have the best future we can have.”

“A future that I have no say in,” Cosima spat, the increase in volume catching the attention of the waitress, who backed away into the kitchen. “What about the future I envisioned? Did you even consider that for like a second? Maybe I don't want to live in the suburbs of Middle America, driving a minivan to soccer practice while you bring home the bacon. Maybe I like the way everything is right now!”

Delphine grabbed Cosima's hand as she pleaded, “Cosima-”

“No!” Cosima interjected, snatching her hand away. “You don't get to get away with this. I know you think making big decisions about our life without me is romantic or something, but it's not. I am not a child. I'm an adult and this is a relationship, and I get a say in how our life goes.” Cosima stood up, no longer able to contain herself. “You have fun at your party tonight alone. Tell Nealon whatever you want, I don't care, but I'm not moving.”

With that, Cosima was out the door. Delphine knew right then this was an irreversible mistake. She watched the glass of the restaurant window begin to melt away as she thought of what followed that fight – nights of Cosima drinking and partying until the early hours of the morning, until finally she stormed out, erasing Delphine and her mistakes forever. She watched as the street Cosima had disappeared down was enveloped in darkness, and she couldn't help but be glad that this memory would be gone forever.

“I'm so sorry,” she whispered to the emptiness surrounding her. “I'm so sorry.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It is only hope which is real, and reality is a bitterness and a deceit." - WIlliam Makepeace Thackeray

“How is this going to work?” Delphine asked as she ran her hands along the spines of a row of books, peeking her head around the shelf to look at Cosima as she added another book to the overwhelming stack in her hands.

“I already explained this,” she said, her voice muffled behind her tower. “If you trade in old books, you get a fifty percent discount on all purchases, so I can get all these for practically nothing, read them, and then sell them all back. It's an incredible system.”

“No, I know that,” Delphine said. She lowered her voice despite knowing that no one could hear them. “How are we going to stop them from erasing you completely?”

“Oh, right, duh,” Cosima chuckled, almost dropping all the books. “It's like I said. They mapped out where exactly all of your memories of me are located so they only erase me, so we just have to find a memory off of the map, and hide me there. Then, when you wake up, I'll still be in your memory.”

“You really think this will work?” Delphine asked, skeptical that the two of them could overcome such complicated science while dreaming.

“Sure, I mean it makes sense right?” Cosima said with a shrug, but Delphine didn't respond, unable to find Cosima's faith within herself. Cosima sensed Delphine's nerves, so she placed her stack of books on the ground and leaned close to Delphine. “It will be fine. I promise. Love conquers all or whatever, right?”

Delphine smiled and nodded, leaning in to kiss Cosima softly. “Love conquers all, mon amour.”

–

“So what do you do with yourself when you aren't monitoring brain scans at all hours of the night?” Shay asked, flipping through an outdated magazine as Scott took some notes in Delphine's file.

“I'm kind of...um...” he grinned embarrassedly as he stumbled over his words. “I am in a sort of league. A board game league.”

“Wow, well that's certainly interesting,” Shay said, doing her best to not embarrass Scott further. “I mean I like playing board games. What's your favorite?”

“I mean I'm a fan of all the classics. Chess, Stratego, Risk. But my favorite right now is probably Rune Wars.” Scott smiled proudly. “I'm nationally ranked.”

“Impressive,” Shay said with a genuine smile. “I'll have to watch you play sometime.”

Scott laughed, unsure of how to respond, so he deflected the focus onto Shay. “What do you do with your free time?”

“I tend to rotate my hobbies every few months, depending on my mood and what catches my interest,” Shay smiled. “I know, I sound flighty. I just get bored easily.”

“We can't all be obsessive gamer geeks,” Scott said. “What is your current hobby of choice?”

“I don't really have one right now,” Shay said, and then she blushed. “Lately I've been spending all my time with my new girlfriend.”

“New girlfriend, that's awesome.” Scott turned back to Delphine's file, realizing he was completely out of his element here.

“Yeah it's only been about two weeks, but so far it's been great,” Shay said, not picking up on Scott's discomfort. “She's amazing.” Scott chuckled, at a loss for a better response. “She's like a breath of fresh air, a source of calm. She makes me feel alive again.”

–

“What is that supposed to mean?” Cosima asked, giggling into her pillow.

“Before we met, I was just going through the motions,” Delphine said, resting her head on Cosima's shoulder. “I was getting up every morning and doing what was expected of me, and living every day like the next, never moving outside of that monotony or doing anything exciting. But then you came along, and you breathed new life into me. So thank you.”

Cosima took Delphine's hand in hers, tracing her fingers along Delphine's palm. “It's just a shame I didn't find you sooner,” Cosima said as she brought Delphine's hand up to her mouth and kissed her fingers. “Think of all the life you could've lived.”

“That's okay,” Delphine whispered. “It was worth the wait.”

–

“You're very lucky to have found her,” Scott said. “Too bad you didn't meet her sooner.”

Shay stared at Delphine's sleeping form and smiled. “It was worth the wait.”

Scott smiled, but as soon as Shay looked away, his smile turned into a slight frown. There was something weirdly familiar about the conversation, as if Shay were reciting lines from a movie, but he couldn't place it.

“I've never heard you talk this way before,” Scott said. “It's like lines from an epic love story.”

“I guess you could say I get a bit poetic when I'm feeling romantic,” Shay said with a smile, but her eyes lingered on Scott with a touch of suspicion.

–

“I'm being serious Cosima,” Delphine said as she gently pushed Cosima's shoulder.

“So am I!” Cosima laughed, playfully pushing Delphine back. “You sound like you're reciting lines from a poem or something. But it's beautiful. I love it.”

“And I love you,” Delphine said, and she leaned over, kissing Cosima passionately.

As their lips parted, Cosima ran her fingers lightly along Delphine's cheek. They both smiled before Cosima said, “I think we should give it a try. You know, hiding me in another memory.”

“Now?” Delphine asked, still looking at Cosima with desire. “I was really looking forward to reliving the next hour.”

Cosima giggled, a hint of red in her cheeks. “I know, but we have to get going if we want to be successful before they finish.” Delphine pursed her lips, still reluctant to leave the moment. Cosima cocked her eyebrow and lowered her voice. “And you know, if we manage to pull this off, there will be plenty of opportunities to reenact this.”

Delphine smiled, but then frowned, “only if I manage to make you fall for me again.”

“How could I not?” Cosima asked, and she leaned in for another kiss.

–

“I mean, how could I not fall for her?” Shay asked. “She's gorgeous, smart, funny, incredibly sexy. There was no saving myself from her.”

“Sounds too good to be true,” Scott said, distracting himself by opening up another beer.

Shay smiled. “But she is true. And she's mine. Mon fraise.”

–

“Je t'aime mon fraise,” Delphine whispered into Cosima's ear.

Cosima giggled, smiling at the pet name she loved so much. She whispered back, “I love you my eskimo pie.” She kissed Delphine a final time, resting her forehead on Delphine's before pulling away. “Ready?”

Delphine nodded. “What do I do?”

“Just think of a memory that has no connection to me, and if all goes well, we will both end up there,” Cosima said as she took Delphine's hand. “On the count of three. One...two...”

Delphine took a deep breath, focusing all of her thought and energy, her hand gripping Cosima's as tight as possible. This will work, she thought to herself. I will never forget her.

“Three.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Failure is the key to success; each mistake teaches us something." - Morihei Ueshiba

Delphine trudged up the steps of the apartment building, sweat lining her forehead as she tried to readjust the heavy box in her hands. She used the wall to support the box as she shimmied it up her hip, but she accidentally overcompensated and the box slipped from her hands and landed with a thump on the landing. Delphine cursed loudly as she heard a door click open, and as she turned to apologize, she found herself face to face with Cosima.

“It worked!” Cosima squealed with excitement as she looked around the hallway. “One second we were on the bed together, and then suddenly I was in a strange apartment wearing these ridiculous clothes, but when I heard the thump I figured it must be you.” She smiled excitedly as Delphine leaned against the wall, trying to catch her breath and take in what was happening. Cosima pulled at the jean jacket she was wearing and asked, “where are we? And who am I supposed to be?”

Delphine looked at herself and then behind Cosima at the apartment she had just exited, the door still slightly ajar. “We are in Park Slope, Brooklyn. It's 2005 and I just moved here from Paris. You are Samantha, my rather, uh, annoying neighbor.”

“Her apartment is full of unicorns,” Cosima said, scrunching up her nose in disgust.

“Yes I remember that very well,” Delphine chuckled. “And it always smelled like cats even though she did not have any.”

“Weird,” Cosima said, sticking her tongue out. “Okay, so now what?”

“You tell me,” Delphine said, running her hand through her hair. “This was your plan after all.”

“Well I guess we just hang out here for a bit, going through the memory, then go back to the memories being erased,” Cosima shrugged. “I'm guessing if we stay here long enough I will survive the night in your memory.”

“Works for me,” Delphine smiled as she picked up the box, ready to head down the hall into her new apartment.

–

“What the-” Scott said, looking at the monitor, his forehead scrunched in confusion. “That's really weird.”

“Is something wrong?” Shay asked, leaning over to look at the screen.

“We mapped out every memory to be erased, and the way the system works is it forces her to go through each one of the memories and erases them as she goes. There's no way for her to experience any memories other than the ones we've chosen because the program is on a locked path that we determined.” Scott pointed to the scan of Delphine's brain, indicating a flashing light. “The light shows where in the brain she currently is, so the system can pinpoint that location and erase it. A green light means she is within the program and the process is proceeding as planned. But the light is red.”

“What does red mean?” Shay asked, a wave of nerves washing over her.

“It means she's in a memory that's not on the path, that has nothing to do with what she wants erased.” Scott began tapping out commands on the computer. “I've never seen this happen before.”

“Can you fix it?” Shay asked as she subconsciously clutched her purse to her.

“I think so,” Scott said, continuing to type away. “But I'll have to report this.”

Shay nodded as Scott continued his work. She then turned away, opening her bag to reveal pages of Delphine's notebook that had been torn out. Amongst them were drawings of Cosima, along with poems and quotes, a visual representation of Delphine's love. Shay shoved the papers deeper into her bag and turned back to watch Scott work.

After a few minutes, Scott let out a sigh of relief, wiping sweat off his forehead.

“Did it work?” Shay asked. “Did you fix it?”

“Yeah I think so,” Scott said. “She's back on the map at least.” He took out his cell phone from his pocket. “I have to call Rachel and let her know what happened, and see if there's anything else I should do. Keep an eye on the screen and let me know if she goes red again.”

–

Delphine pushed open the door and emerged into Felix's loft. Cosima and Sarah were laughing together on the couch while Felix filled wine glasses in the kitchen. They were back in Delphine's memories of Cosima. It hadn't worked.

“Thank god you're here,” Felix said as he handed Delphine a wineglass while she hovered in the doorway. “These two haven't shut up since they arrived, going on about some bleeding lumberjack or whatever.”

“Oh yes, the man from the other night,” Delphine said, catching up with the memory as she closed the door. “It appears Sarah has a bit of an admirer.”

“A stalker is more like it,” Sarah shouted from the couch as Cosima erupted into more giggles. “He showed up at my bloody job today.”

“Don't lie, you totally loved it,” Cosima said between stifled laughter. “He's really sweet. I don't know why you're resisting.”

“He's so weird,” Sarah said. “He's always staring at me.”

“Your children will be adorable,” Cosima said, bending over with laughter as Sarah jabbed her leg before laughing herself.

Delphine sat down on the couch next to Cosima, who immediately curled up into Delphine's side.

“It didn't work, Cosima,” Delphine whispered into Cosima's ear. “We are back in my memories of us.”

“You probably need to think of a different memory, something not so easily accessible,” Cosima said, running her finger along the seam of Delphine's pants. “A memory that they can't find so easily.”

“I don't know if I have many memories like that,” Delphine said, scrunching up her face.

“What about something from when you were a kid?” Cosima suggested. “They only have your adult memories mapped out, so something from childhood might be harder for them to find.”

“I will try, mon amour,” Delphine said as she kissed Cosima on the cheek.

–

“Rachel said everything should be fine, but she definitely seemed agitated,” Scott said as he walked back over to the monitor. “She said if it happened again, I need to call her immediately and she will come over and examine the scans herself.” He sat down, looking like that was the last thing he wanted to have happen. “How is she doing? Everything still on track?”

Shay swallowed hard, and Scott picked up on her anxiety right away. He looked at the screen to see a red light once again flashing on the scan.

“Everything is definitely not on track,” Shay said, biting her lip nervously.

“I guess I have to call Rachel again,” Scott said, staring at his phone as if it were about to attack him.

“She scares me a bit,” Shay said. “You sure you can't just fix it yourself and not tell her?”

“I don't want to risk giving this woman brain damage,” Scott said. “Besides, this is an anomaly. It's definitely scientifically interesting, and I am a bit curious to figure out what is going on. And, of course, I do not want to face the wrath of Rachel Duncan.”

Shay nodded in agreement as Scott began dialing the phone again. As much as Shay wanted to continue monitoring Delphine's erasure, there was something about Rachel that made her skin crawl, so she took her own phone out and typed out a message: hey babe! if you're still awake, are you interested in a late night adventure? Central park pond?


End file.
